I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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