Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
