i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
