He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
