We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
