Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize