why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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