first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
