Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
