Please don't use social media to get back at me.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
