Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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