If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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