just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he was CRYING into my vagina
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
