You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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