update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
