he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize