do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
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