we have officially lost it.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize