Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
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