Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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