I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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