finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
