scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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