Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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