So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
