Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I need to sanitize my soul.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
