do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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