Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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