whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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