So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
