Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
