I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
What changed your mind?
Being sober
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
