glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
