I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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