one two three fourrrrnication!
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
