Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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