C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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