just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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