what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
40s are totally the cure
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
this hospital has no fireball
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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