I seem to have left my pride at pride
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
