Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
