i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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