i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
