she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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