Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
