Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
