The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
