the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
