I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
