Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
