You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I want her autograph on my taint
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
