You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
