very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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