are you so shy because you have an std?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
