New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
