Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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