your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
