she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize