You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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