Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
