Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
